Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Congratulation to Randy, Leo and Tenri Ukke! Akademi Fantasi Indosiar (AFI) 2 is finished. Then come the new one! AFI 3. Hmmph.., isn't too soon to start the new one? Well nobody knows what the producer's thinking, except themselves. This time, 3 new cities are join too such as Palembang, Denpasar, and my city.. Makassar! Yes the audition was taken here too, on the mid of June. It was about more than 2000 young fellas registered and took the audition, after that become the big 20, and then the big 3. The big 3 will go to Jakarta to join the pre-elimination concert. They are Edwin Leo (left), Tenri Ukke (center), and Randy Rehatta (right), as seen on the picture above. This time the pre-elimination is different. They are still 12 academias. So they got to pass the really tight competition, since it was 27 competitor. The big 3 will go to Jakarta each week, one by one. This Saturday is the first pre-elimination concert. They are not eliminated by the short message service (sms) or premium call this time. They got three juries who will decide which one is the best. Each week, 9 are in competition, and only 4 of them may enter the Akademi Fantasi Indosiar and be the academia. Tough isn't it! It's getting more difficult now. There's a possibility just one from the big 3 or none of them. Talking bout the big 3 from Makassar, one of them, the one named Randy, is my lecturer's son! Hehehe... *promotion mode* Ok, let's stay tune at the TV at the end of this week and watch who will get eliminated.

Saturday, June 26, 2004

All You Need is Love? No love can compare to God's love.. In these days many people talks about love. Also in the bloogerians' site. Talks about love, love and love. Love which related with relationship with other person, loving each other, who is the one we love. Various postings! A few of tomodachi wrote bout love in their blogsite such as Sa, Tusuk Gigi, Ira, and many more... In the summer of 1969, one of the popular songs heard frequently on the radio went something like this: What the world needs now Is love, sweet love; It's the only thing That there's just too little of. It had a theme similar to a Beatles tune: All you need is love, love Love is all you need. Is love all we need? Is it the answer to the world's problems? If we all just loved each other a little more-would that be enough to solve all the problems in the world? That could work only if the love were pure, with no false motivations or hidden agendas. But who has a love that big? There's only One who can demonstrate love that perfect. I read a wonderful reminder of the real source of all love in my friend's wedding invitation. It read: "God who is love Himself, has brought us together". It is a simple truth taught to the youngest of children: God is love. The human love we have for our boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife, friends and children, mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, as sweet and as strong an emotion as it is, cannot compare to the love that God for us. How much has God loved us? So much!!! Nothing can compare to God's love! It has been proven and cannot be doubt anymore. Does God want our love in return? Absolutely. And God wants us to love others. God said, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength," and "love your neighbor as yourself". Love. It's the theme of most of the songs that are written and thousands of books that are published each year. Is love all we need? Yes! All we need is love-the perfect love of God. Now sit back and relax. Try to think these questions and answer it in your mind for reflection: � Whom do I love most?Do I believe that God loves me?Do I love God with all my heart and soul and mind and strength?Do I love my neighbor as much as I love myself? Do you? The answers are yours.. :)

Friday, June 25, 2004

Moonlight and Mystery Years back, I remembered I watched a news program on TV. A journalist in Madrid, Spain, was among those reporters selected by the Spanish government to interview the American astronaut James Irwin, who was on a European tour after his Apollo 15 mission to the moon. Monroy asked the astronaut, �What did you feel when you stepped out of that capsule and your feet touched the surface of the moon?� To Monroy's utter surprise, Irwin replied, �It was one of the most profoundly disillusioning moments of my life.� Monroy pressed the astronaut: �How could standing on the moon be so disappointing?� Irwin explained, �All of my life I have been enchanted by the romance and the mystery of the moon. I sang love songs under the moon. I read poems by moonstruck poets. I embraced my lover in the moonlight. I looked up in wonder at the lunar sphere. But that day when I stepped from the capsule onto the lunar surface and reached down at my feet, I came up with nothing but two handfuls of gray dirt. I cannot describe the loss I felt as the romance and mystery were stripped away. There will be no more moon in my sky!� Monroy observed further, �When we come to the place that we think we comprehend and can explain the Almighty, there will be no more God in our heavens.� God's Word not only reveals His endless love and awesome holiness, but also veils His majesty in mystery and paradox that transcend comprehension. He is God, not human! �My thoughts are not your thoughts,� says the Lord, �neither are your ways my ways.� (Isaiah 55:8) I think God is also saying, �And you, my children, are not just mortal, either. You will always be stretching beyond your temporary finitude, watching for glimpses and listening for whispers from infinity.� God has put eternity in our hearts. A part of us lives in worlds beyond, even if we at times find it difficult to stay in touch! Oh yes! Because both God and humanity are too big for explanation, the Bible conveys far more than information and logical objectives. God speaks to all of our worlds through drama, music, poetry, stories, paradox, and mystery. The Bible teases out nuances that stretch far beyond mere data in ways too wonderful to explain and too sacred to be contrived. Full faith awakens all of our worlds and dances through them, touching us on multiple levels and moving us with profound force. This kind of faith, like a tent pegged from many angles, is much less likely to go flat. The mystery moves us onward and upward. Until next time...

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

The Medical Profession The medical profession Has at least one grand obsession If it cannot diagnose your case, and your problems cannot place, ot will put you in disgrace And will say behind your face We don't mean to be despotic, but we find that he's neurotic Since we cannot find a reason For his aches and pains in season, cannot name a name exotic We must call it plain neurotic! For they think they've learned a lesson In a medical profession 'Every symptom has a reason, everyache and pain in season'. I don't mean to be despotic, If they say that you're neurotic The odds are stacked against you so far, It's ten to one of you really are!

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Borrowed Heaven To sum this album up I would use the word "Grower". First time that I heard this album I have to admit I was disappointed, I've heard the sort of songs, I thought countless times. But I sat and listened to every song, every lyric and the melodies grow on you, they really do. With 4 years since the last album The Corrs would have to pull off something fantastic to win back the crowd, and it seems they have done it. The album is a mixture of styles from both Talk on Corners and In Blue which both won them many fans. With the poppy upbeat song Summer Sunshine storming the chart currently, Angel; a beautiful tribute to the departed Jean Corr is sure to follow in its footsteps. Hideaway and Even If are also very catchy tracks. Long Night is a nice beautiful ballard which really stands out and reminds you of the like of Intimacy from Talk On Corners. Humdrum and Borrowed Heaven (featuring Ladysmith Black Mambazo) are very unique songs the latter is very soleful. Silver Strand finishes the album off very nicely. The "Irish" feel is partly back in this album, with a lot more violin than In Blue and the welcomed return of the tin wistle in Angel. The only song which lets the album down is Time Enough for Tears, from the In America soundtrack. The Corrs album shows growth for me, no album will surpass the wonderful Talk on Corners, but I believe this is a return to form after a few years break. We all no what to expect from the Corrs, those who have realistic expections I can guarantee will not be disappointed :)

Monday, June 21, 2004

Congratulations, Tia! No, not because I'm a fan of Tia in Akademi Fantasi Indosiar (AFI), but because I am happy that this time the viewer's choice is right. Yes she deserved it. Nice voice she had. Anyway, the gossips about AFI's winner already predicted and decided by Indosiar is fully erased. :) But one thing in the Grand Final that happened made a few of viewer lost feeling to continue watching. Two persons that not supposed to sing there, were singing!! Gosh! Come on, this is not a campaign! So rude, entering a great show with those kind of acts. Truly, I just want to see pure music concert! Not politic :( Well hope I can forget those things happened and we're still talking bout the winner, Tia, again, CONGRATS!! Pat Riley, the famous basketball coach said, �There�s only two things in this league: winning and misery!� No wonder so many sports figures will do anything to win, including taking steroids, hurting players intentionally, or altering their transcripts so a player can play illegally. No wonder one coach rewards players with stickers on their football helmets for big hits he calls �slobber-knockers�! The Lord said a leader is someone who sits at the foot of the table; one who is willing to assist others, pick them up instead of bad-mouthing them down. That�s the real winner. God came to reverse our priorities because our priorities are wrong. All our children�all our nations children�will be better off if we follow in God's steps.

Saturday, June 19, 2004

My 4th Week Puppies I got 4 new puppies from my dog 4 weeks ago. They're so small, really need help from their mom. So I didn't bother them for these 4 weeks :) But yesterday I was so surprise seeing them walk around, so cute.. then I grabbed to of them and make some pictures of them :p
After a few minutes, I watched these puppies are trying to walk faster, step by step just like a baby who learn how to walk. So cute. Then their mom is keep in sight of them. If these puppies fell and start to cry then the mom come and rise it up while licking her child (licking refers kissing for the dogs :p), so the puppy stand up again n walks :) I imagined the condition going something like this: �Hey junior, come on stand up. You can make it, just try to walk slowly first. Not so fast. You may fall down again. Slower. Smoother. Now, stop crying. Be sure to make it look effortless. That girl watching us and taking notes. Now, here�s how you hover. Good! Now walk! Stop hopeless! You can do it! Remember, smooth and leisurely. Excellent! Now let�s walk right here where I stand. You�re doing great kid, but we�re not finished. This is our big moment. Ready? You�re doing great! Just keep doing what you do and you�ll be fine.� A little later I saw the these puppies walks woth their mom on their way back down the doghouse. This time they have switched places. These puppies are walks faster than a few minutes ago. They are in front of their mom now. I imagined the older once say, �Okay, kids. Your turn to lead. Take off!� Look around you. See any puppies wanting to learn to walk. There may be someone who needs the wisdom and experience you have. The new guy on the job, the new couple at church, that young mother who seems to have her hands full, or the young man who has just begun his walk with the Lord. You have the knowledge, you have the wisdom, and you have the gift they need. Don�t waste the opportunity! Take time and teach someone to walk!

Friday, June 18, 2004

Vagina Monolog Hi fellas! Long time no write huh? Yeah sorry.. i got much time to write now :) On Monday (14/06/2004) night I went to Sahid Makassar Hotel to see a theatre play titled "Vagina Monolog". Don't ever think dirty about it hehehe, no it is not a porn play or sumthing mesum. It was a really great theatre play! Starring: Aliyah Mustika Ilham Arif Sirajuddin, Zohra Andi Baso, Shinta Febriyanti, Dewi Ritanaya, Luna Vidya, Suti Karno, Rima Melati, Jajang C. Noer, Rachel Maryam, Ratna Riantiarno, Marcella Zhaliyanti. Vagina Monolog talks about woman, woman and woman. This theatre play made to fight against woman abuse, girl abuse in every side of the story. Many woman in this world forget what she had. Many woman in this world prisoned to know her inches of her body. And vagina is almost forgotten, always hidden. Woman abuse such as prostitute, sexual abuse, woman-trade.. always happens days by days in this world, wherever. Victims increasing. And again, it's all about the vagina and how vagina feels about the abuses. Really great theatre play, again I said! Kewl! Cool! :p Anyway i got some pictures and I hope this time pictures talk :)    When the stage still clear (left), the opening (right)    Suti Karno (left), Rima Melati (right)    The singer (left), komunitas kerudung hitam in concert (right)    Marcella Zhaliyanti (left), Rachel Maryam (center)    The epilogue... Suti Karno-Rachel Maryam-Marcella Zhalianty after play (right)

Monday, June 14, 2004

Happy Birthday, mas Katon Bagaskara! Today one of my favorite Indonesian male singer, Katon Bagaskara, celebrating his birthday! He got one more year on this earth! :) Wish you all the best and always success in your career.. as a male singer or with your group, KLa Project. Have you noticed how hard it is to have a simple joyful event anymore? Something inside wants me to blame it on some external factor like political correctness run amuck. Unfortunately, it is not that simple. We live in a fallen world of complicated joy. Birthday parties are special because a group of friends come to rejoice at the blessings of someone else. Much is the same in our celebrations of complicated joy at church. We will never assemble with unfettered joy on this side of heaven. But, if we will allow ourselves, we can anticipate that unfettered joy in moments of celebration where the broken, injured, and wounded share in the joy of the moment with those who are not. While it may be a bit complicated by our fallen and broken world, our time together as God�s family must be a time to anticipate the joy that awaits us when our Father in Heaven brings us home! Even though it may be complicated, rejoice! ...dedicated to Katon Bagaskara. Happy Birthday!

Saturday, June 12, 2004

It Hurts to Breathe Recently I didnt post anything? Why? I don't know why :p hehehe probably I just feel a bit busy and tired. Yesterday is the most tired day in the world. One of my patient come. She wants me to make her full dentures. Now in the try-in stage. I must try-in her base dentures to her mouth to know is it fit already or not. And it is not fit!! So I got ot walk back to the laboratory to decrease some of the acrylic and back to the clinic room and try in again. So exhausted! Yesterday also, during in my business, my friend Ardi talked to me. His dad just passed away about two weeks ago. He still feels so depressed. He told me something. If it doesn't touch your heart, nothing will. "I really miss my Dad. I know that God is in control, but it is so very hard to remember that every hour of the day. Please pray for my family. We need lifting up to the Lord. This is the most horrible thing I have ever had to go through. It hurts to breathe. I know that God will not give us more than we can handle, but this is killing me." He is just one of many people scattered around the world. For many of us, the internet is a lifeline! We are able to daily reach out and touch someone else. Sometimes we reach out to hear about some problem of our brothers and sisters and sometimes to share some heartbreak of our own. Sometimes we hurt so much that "it hurts to breathe"! Every breath we take is filled with sobs of anguish and tears of sorrow. As much as I would wish it were otherwise, there just is no quick fix! There is no easy way to rid us of the sorrow of a loss like this. We are not alone as we endure our tragedy. Even though it may seem like little comfort to us at the moment, hang on, because things will get better! Just keep your eyes on God. Don't lose that vision! The faith is what we need today! That we could accept the death of a loved one, especially of a precious dad with the statement of faith, "I will go to him one day," and then get on with life. It was a test of our faith, but we were able put it all in God's hands and turn loose of the grief. For those of you who are dealing with this type of tragedy, I don't intend to sound flippant or uncaring. Spend the time necessary to mourn, and then turn it over to God. Know that there are others who can feel with you in your grief and pain and that you are not alone. Having done that, make the commitment that you will live your life in such a way as to someday be with the one you lost! May our God give us the strength to endure what we must to live with him forever, even when "it hurts to breathe"!

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

I Got a New Look! Yesterday I went to barbershop and trimmed my front hair :p Just want to have a new look. Why? Maybe because I am so depressed these couples of weeks, makes me feels want to have a new breath, new power, and I thought if I got a new look, my mood wont fall that far anymore :p Everyone got amazed this morning at the clinic, hahahaha.. :D Some says great haircut, some says nice one, some says that i look a like a character in a japanese comic hehehe.. It helps too, not because all the comments, it really helps me get into the mood. One thing makes me get into the mood too, one of my problems in the clinic is solved!! Thanks to God! Finally.., and I hope this moment will last until finish. I thought about how sometimes life�s problems, trials and tests can be so overwhelming. We often feel like we need to come up for air just to be able to breathe. The bottom of the pool would be an adequate way to explain how lost and lonely the way gets some days. Yet, no matter how deep our struggles, or how far away we roam, it is never too late to return to the Lord. God is always waiting with outstretched arms for you �to make a new breath� and a new life in Him.

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

Why Are These Delays?? Still talking about AFI, Cindy and her fail on the way to the victory of the competition. Last nite I was chatting with my sister. She also a fan of Cindy. She said that it is okay if Cindy failed now. Because the popularity cannot compared with the quality. Everyone know that in the music business, Cindy's quality is not doubted anymore. But in life, there's always some delays. All Cindy Guardians (this is what Cindy's fans called) already show their supports and prayer. It's not an unanswered prayer, or failed to victory. It just a delay to victory. I asked why there's always a delay in a pathway? My sister opened me the Holy Book and pointed to a verse "If all results were instant, we could never walk in faith. Without faith, we could never please God. (Hebrews 11:6)". It opened my eyes. Those questions.., why are prayers not all answered instantly? Why don't we always experience the blessings promised in the Bible immediately? If you always reaped the harvest of your deeds immediately, the incentive to do right and refrain from wrongdoing would only be selfish. No faith, or love for God, would be required. During delays we have opportunity to demonstrate whether we really love God, and trust Him, or not. A delay is a test. Without testing, there could be no reward. God does not test us so that we can fail, but so that we can overcome. He believes we will make it with His help. We desire an instant manifestation of victory. What God desires is for us to press into Him and His Word and walk in faith until we see victory. To overcome there must be opposition and struggle. God cannot always shield us from problems without taking away from us the privilege of overcoming. Victory is sweet. What makes it sweet is that it is not easy. If we really trust God, time is not a problem. Leave that with God. His timing is perfect and He is dependable! We know He promised, and can never fail -- and that is enough.

Monday, June 07, 2004

Missed Opportunities... I'm so disaapointed on Saturday night. I watch AFI (one of the popularity and singing contest in Indonesia, taken from La Academia - Mexico) on Indosiar. In that program, Princess Cindy (that's how Cindy's fans called her) was eliminated! She was eliminated in a little range of percent! Grrmmbl.. :( I like to see her still singing and fight. I like Cindy because she's the one who make progress each week, from nothing to something! Different with Tia, Micky, Nia, or Adit who already have many experiences in singing and performing. And that nite I really proud of her. She was very tough! She didnt cry much, and she gives many encouraging words to her friends. She is so incredible!
Well Cindy, do not worry of the elimination, it just one step ahead to enter the big world of star :) You just missed one opportunity to win the contest. Life is full of opportunities. Some will be easy to take advantage of, some will be difficult. But once we let them pass (often in hopes of something better), those opportunities may never again be available. The same thing is also true of opportunities to serve God. God often opens doors for us � opportunities to speak up for Him, opportunities to minister to someone who is hurting or in need, opportunities to make an influence on the world around us. If we allow them to pass by (perhaps because we are waiting for something easier to come along), we may miss out on them altogether. Continue praying, keeping alert, and always thanking God. Also pray for us that God will give us an opportunity to tell people his message. (Colossians 4:2-3a NCV) Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith. (Galatians 6:10) May you take advantage of the doors God opens for you this day!

Saturday, June 05, 2004

The Day After Tomorrow.. Who Knows? This afternoon I went to the movie theatre. I watched The Day After Tomorrow. It was a really incredible movie I ever seen. So fantastic, great! This movie takes a big-budget, special-effects-filled look at what the world would look like if the greenhouse effect and global warming continued at such levels that they resulted in worldwide catastrophe and disaster, including multiple hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes (I don't quite get the science of that one), tidal waves, floods and the beginning of the next Ice Age. At the center of the story is a paleoclimatologist (a scientist who studies the ways weather patterns changed in the past), Professor Adrian Hall (Quaid), who tries to save the world from the effects of global warming while also trying to get to his son, Sam (Gyllenhaal), who was in New York City as part of a scholastic competition, when the city was overwhelmed by the chilling beginnings of the new Ice Age. In addition to all of the other challenges Dr. Hall faces, he's also going against the flow as humanity races south to warmer climes, and he's nearly the only one going north... The point of the movie is it will happen if we dont start to prepare. Always preparing for anything. Many people dying because the lack of prepare. Have you ever noticed how much time we spend preparing? You are receiving this article because I am preparing to write it. All day long I have been preparing to write this article in my mind long before I put my fingers to the keyboard. In a few minutes, we will be preparing for dinner. A little while after that, we will prepare to go to bed. During the time we are sleeping, we will be preparing for the coming day. Then, as the day begins, we will be preparing for the rest of the day and probably spend some time preparing for what is going to happen tomorrow. It seems that I am always preparing. Teachers spend most of the semester preparing their students for the final exam that comes at the end of the semester. Students spend considerable time every semester preparing for those same exams. Employers spend large amounts of time and sums of money preparing their employees for the job they have been hired to perform. Workshops, seminars, and training sessions are designed to help prepare workers to be better workers. Coaches work late into the night viewing tapes, and reviewing last week's stats in preparation for the next game. Players work to correct their mistakes, improve on the fundamentals to enhance their performance in the next game. Fans become armchair quarterbacks, coaching experts and offer suggestions on how next game can be better than the last. I have now spent six paragraphs preparing for what I really want to say. With so much time spent in preparation, when do we get on with what we are here to do? When will teachers and students enjoy being in school? When will work become fulfilling and enjoyable? When will a sport be just a game? Preparation is necessary and wise. It is foolish to tackle a project without proper preparation. But eventually, the preparation must end. Remember that God reached the point when He said, "It is time." At the end of the gospels He told them, "Go." Eventually we must get on with the work. Eventually preparation time is over. Maybe it's time.

Friday, June 04, 2004

Life Goes On, Baby.. Na na na na na Life Goes On, na na na na na make me strong Oooh yeah, Got a feeling that I can't go back This noon after working hard at clinic, I went for lunch with my friends. Ija, one of my friend who married a couple of weeks ago!! She just back from her sweet honeymoon at the Bali. Her husband is on duty now at Jakarta so she got to back here and continue her clinic-time. Then she told us all her experiences and .. you know, girls talk! :) Then we talked about each of our relationships with our boyfriends. I talked about my kidy who went to Shanghai for SunNetwork Conference 2004. About how many sms he sent me. It was amazing, coz when he was in Indonesia, he never send me sms so repeatedly :p Then suddenly one of my friend, Wati, feels so bad mood. I guess she still have the pain because of her breakup after 7 years of loving :( Come on life is still goes on...! Then I remembered a song from LeAnn Rimes titled "Life Goes On".. "...Oooh, life goes on, and its only gonna make me strong Its a fact, once you get on board say goodbye cuz you can't go back Oooh, its a fight, and I really wanna get it right Where I'm at, its my life before me, got this feeling that I can't go back Na na na na na life goes on, na na na na na make me strong Oooh yeah, got a feeling that I can't go back Life goes on (and its only gonna make me strong) Life goes on and on and on Shame on you if you fool me once, Shame on me if you fool me twice But you've been a pretty hard case to crack I should've known better but I didn't and I can't go back..." Come on girl, life is still goes on, everything is still run along. No one stop just because you stop. So, that's life, hurt but flows.. "Life is not for the faint of heart." I have no clue who said that. I'm sure some of you will remind me and that your answers will be different! The truth is often repeated. However, I am thankful that God has given us the Bible to speak truthfully to us about life's adventures. It doesn't pull any punches. It doesn't try to soft-pedal the truth. Life is hard. A simple reading of the Bible's story reminds of this. The beauty of this tough and true-to-life story of God is that it can speak to us today -- right into the middle of our tough world with all its twists, turns, stops, and starts. At many junctures in our journey through life, we find ourselves traveling into new territory. Move to a new town, a new church, and a new challenge. Iis the challenge of the new territory that graduation or a marriage brings -- that's an exciting journey into new territory. The new territory is a more terrifying terrain -- life after a divorce, the death of a loved one, a horrible or debilitating illness, the loss of a job, the break up of an engagement .... and on and on we could go. Does all this sound too simple or na�ve? Does it seem like church talk? Probably, except these words carried a bunch of nomads to possess a land that God had promised to them ... a land filled with giants and enemies and fortified cities ... a land that was their new territory .. a land that became their new home :)

Thursday, June 03, 2004

Me, Life, and You It's easy to find, just follow your heart baby Hi all.. yes it's me again, Rara. Now with the new face of blogsite :) Anyway still the same colour, but different style :p~* Why I keep using this colour?? Because this is my favorite colour. Blue and black! Black and blue! Hahaha whateva lah~~... Well i got a fave song for today. I copied some videoclips from kidy a few weeks ago when he was here. Then last night I watched them and then I stuck on Jewel's song named Intuition. Really nice song! Here it is.. Jewel - Intuition I'm just a simple girl In a high tech digital world I really try to understand All the powers that rule this land They say Miss J's big butt is boss Kate Moss can't find a job In a world of post modern fad What was good now is bad It's not hard to understand Just follow this simple plan #Follow your heart Your intuition It will lead you in the right direction Let go of your mind Your Intuition It's easy to find Just follow your heart baby You look at me but you're not quite sure Am I it or could you get more? You learn cool from magazines You learn love from Charlie Sheen If you want me let me know I promise I won't say no You got something that you want me to sell Sell your sin. Just cash in You got something that you want me to tell You'll love me. Wait and see. If you want me Don't play games I promise It won't be in vain Uh-uh-uh You know why i like this song? Because it is a reality. Reality in a real life. In your life you must follow your intuition, and life goes on.. Whether you like it or not but that's your life, you are the one who will walk on the path, so whatever you do and what ever you choose when questions get into your mind, just follow your heart, your intuition and it will lead you in the right direction.. You are the one that decide your life! Not other people, not horoscope, not astrology, not the creepy witch, or whatever you said. It is just YOU and YOUR LIFE! :)